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VINEY HILL::::::::::: PUPIL::::::::: NEWS :::::::::: BULLETIN ::::::::::DAY 2
Dear Parents/Carers,
Be alarmed for yesterday caving was cancelled and a far more dangerous replacement was found: your poor, helpless, defenceless, darlings were thrown off a thirty five metre cliff into a disused quarry. It was against their better judgment. They were plunged, screaming themselves hoarse, into the darkness of the abyss below. If it hadn’t been for the super strong nylon ropes, things could’ve gotten gory.
After this things just went from bad to worse in the water. It felt like a normal canoe trip at first, before your dearest were capsized into a freezing cold lake. The trauma of the moment was exacerbated by cruel adults claiming there were alligators, angry fish (which threw their paddles back up at them), farting turtles and other terrible creatures in the waters below.
The male teachers have proven themselves to be nothing short of incompetent – intent only on inducing hypothermia and fear into their charges- we are so thankful for the steadying hand of Mrs Bainbridge with her impeccable leadership qualities and supreme organisational prowess- we vote for her as team leader!
The children

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